Pavement

7.4.06

So I ran a mile today.

This is a grand thing in theory, but an unpleasant (borderline wretched) experience in practice, I assure you. Largely because it has been a good nine years since I have done anything resembling running on a regular basis.

I can now appreciate the mantra, "I'm in no shape to get in shape." It's true.

Back then, in my late teens, early twenties, I ran, oh, five or six miles a day. This is not because I was dedicated or persistent or particularly tenacious. It's because it was easy.

Now, in my almost-thirty-ness, this is not the case. At all.

And while I was plodding along I had the overwhelming suspicion that my body had betrayed me, that somewhere, very quietly, all the muscle had gone on holiday, never to be heard from again. And meanwhile, spotting the "vacant" sign, a jolly family of flab had settled on in, step-brothers, second cousins, great-aunts and all.

And to those of you muttering that it's about time I gained some weight, in the words of good ol' Willy, "Get thee to a nunnery!" Or at least a confessional. You are in serious need of repentance.